Staring into the face of my humanity

Sigh, So here I am staring right into the face of my own gash darn humanity. 

 

You know, it is way easier to figure everything out behind the scenes and come to you as “COACH JOELLE” LIFE CREATOR! KNOWER OF ANSWERS!  THE GO-TO GAL WHO HAS IT FIGURED OUT!  It is a whole other matter to be facing myself with all of you along with me on the journey. 

 

Thank you for being there and thank you for your love and understanding as I work through my stuff. So, on the path to “HOT” – and the “body of a dancer” I WAS doing a lovely job….

 

Sunday – totally on with the food and went ice skating.

Monday – really nice work on the food and I had Pilates (I even received a wonderful gift from my friend Kristen of aloe infused fuzzy socks and “the dancer’s body” workout dvd! AWESOME!! ) AND THEN…

Tuesday – ate 2 pieces of whole wheat sushi in the am – 3 pieces in the pm with some rye-vita crackers – drank two cups of caffeinated coffee – had 4 ounces of fish and some asparagus and two glasses of wine and powerful conversation with my good friend Sherry and then proceeded to meet my husband at one of our favorite haunts, had an Irish coffee and then followed it up with two diet cokes and apple pie and ice cream. As I was lying in bed awake at 3:00 am as the sugar, alcohol and caffeine wore off I groaned as I realized I was going to have to share all of this with you today.  UGGG.

 

So, a couple of things as I recommit:

 

1) Caffeinated coffee is NOT AN OPTION no/way no/how – I know how my body works and it is not a healthy life-giving option.

2) For right now sugar (eg. apple pie a la mode) is NOT AN OPTION.   It creates a cycle of addiction that is not in alignment with what I choose for my body.

3) I am re-committing to no more than 1 drink on a weeknight even if I have lovely company and the wine is flowing.

4) I will eat healthy life-giving food and enough of it so that I am not finding myself at the end of the day hungry with a “devil may care attitude”.

5) I will schedule daily activity in my calendar and will keep my commitment to myself.

6) I am so clear the power of this exercise with you all as I have no interest in getting to write another posting like this one any time soon.

7) I am even more inspired and committed to having the body of a dancer in the face of my breakdown.

 

Just to be clear. While the exercise of recording this and the accountability is very confronting and illuminating, I am choosing what I am choosing not out of some arbitrary regiment or some list of things I am “supposed to do”.  At this point in my life I know what works and what doesn’t. I know what leaves me powerful and clear and I know what leaves me unconscious, moody and uncomfortable in my body. I am committed to being in love with my body and having my body support me in my life adventure and in my mental and spiritual clarity.

 

The key for me is to hold my commitment to being in a dancer’s body at the front of my mind. I will be creating new visual and mental cues to keep this at the fore front as I make choices out in the world. Thank you. I love you.

 

Humbly,

 

Joelle

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