How to know when you need to quit
Well brave adventurer, you have spent some time contemplating the idea of quitting and now it is time to move further down the quitting trail. Below are some key indicators for a highly life-supportive quit.
You may just need to quit if:
What you are doing is a constant struggle.
If every time you think of going to this activity, being with these people, or doing these tasks it feels arduous, annoying, painful or generally unpleasant, then this may be a perfect opportunity to do some quitting!
This is your one precious life and unlike those piano lessons your parents made you take when you were 8, today you actually get to say I have no interest in ever taking another piano lesson or attending that PTA meeting or spearheading this initiative.
The activity feels like something you really "should do" or you "have to do".
I remember a mentor of mine telling me that I really must stop "shoulding all over myself"! Today I offer you the same advice.
If you find that the responsibility you are considering quitting is something that you feel you "should" or "have to" do, and it gives you very little personal enjoyment or growth then it may be time for a new open space in your calendar.
You find yourself complaining about your commitments.
If you find yourself complaining to your friends, family, coworkers or anyone else who will listen about the things on your plate then you may want to turn those complaints into action! It is such a cliché, but as they say, the only thing you have to do is pay taxes and die.
So if you are really that unhappy with the events and circumstances that are taking your precious energy, then I invite you to look at ways to either appreciate what you have or get busy finding something new.
Every time the commitment comes up you think of 100 different things you would rather be doing.
Is it time for the Tuesday night board meeting and you would rather be out for dinner with a friend? Every week do you gear up to go to that continuing education class but keep getting drawn towards other activities that seem more interesting to you? This resistance may be the cue that it's quitting time!
When imagining it gone makes you smile.
This past week when you imagined the idea of not having that commitment, responsibility or activity did your whole body relax? Did you feel as though you dropped 20 lbs of weight off your shoulders? Did that pain in the small of your back disappear? Permanent relief is just one well placed "I quit" away!
If you were a yes to any of the above then you are a hot candidate for some quitting.
For final consideration
Before I send you out into the world there are two things for final consideration:
a)Is the thing you want to quit integral to you living the life you imagined?
My experience is that the path to success, meaning and the life you imagine comes from following "the joy." If you are that interested in quitting, my guess is there may be another more enjoyable way to getting where you are going. With this being said, if you are really clear that this thing you want to quit seems to be an important piece of the puzzle on the way to realizing your dreams, then I invite you to have a conversation with someone you trust and really look at this disconnect. Explore if you can find another way to your dreams or find peace and empowerment inside the thing you want to quit.
b) Do you want to quit out of fear, feelings of unworthiness or lack of self confidence?
If your answer is yes to this then get thee to a coach! PRONTO! Find someone that believes in you, listen to some Tony Robbins or find a coach who can walk you through this disempowering thinking.
- Fear is natural and they would not call it "courage" if the person was not first afraid. Fear is just an opportunity to expand your comfort zone.
- As for being unworthy… do not even get me started on this one. I do not care what you have done, who you are, or what has happened to you in the past. None of it makes you any less worthy of having your dreams.
- Finally, doubting yourself is a natural effect of trying something new and pushing your own limits. It is totally natural, completely unnecessary and is certainly no reason to take yourself out of the game.
If you were a yes to either of these questions I invite you to speak with someone you trust and respect for an outside point of view before you continue.
If you would like to run it by me I would be happy to discuss it with you. email Joelle
Let the quitting begin!
If you have made it this far and you are getting clear that quitting is the thing for you, then ladies and gentleman, I say let the quitting begin!
The Great Big Quit-o-ramma Invitation: You have thought it through, weighed it out, checked your motives and now it is time for you to take action.
Take a deep breath and write the letter, make the call, schedule the meeting and respectfully, but definitively, quit.
If the thing you wish to quit is something that feels too significant to walk away from or it feels more complicated than a simple conversation (ie. leaving your job with no other source of income or getting out of a committee when you are 2 weeks to the annual fundraiser) then I invite you to set a time in the future for your quitting day.
Identify your last day, put it on your calendar and create a plan for what it will take to get you from this moment to the blissful completion 1 month, 6 months or 2 years from now.
It's that simple. There is a whole new world of freedom, peace and joy waiting for those of you who take on this challenge.
Take a deep breath…. Ok, now… Ready….set…..Quit!
Have a blast and let me know how it goes in the comments below.