Let's talk about ruts shall we!
It happens to the best of us so it is less of a matter of "how to stay out of a rut" as it is "what do you do when you notice you are in one".
To be clear, we all get into routines or habits that seem comfortable or safe. There is nothing wrong with a routine. Even a seemingly mundane routine can be quite fine. For instance, if it works for you to eat a bagel and coffee every morning for breakfast, great! If you take the same route to work every day or you do dinner and a movie every Friday night, and it's working for you, more power to you!
The ruts I want to talk about are the ones that are not working for you. The life ruts, small or large, that are taking the joy out of your life, are causing you pain or leaving you distinctly uninspired.
Let's talk about the ruts that are stealing your life!
Here are some examples of the ruts I am committed to you busting free from:
The "I hate my job but I could never do anything else." rut.
The "I am continuously disappointed in the people I date. Why are all the good ones unavailable?" rut.
The "Life is really hard, I wish I didn't have to get out of bed." rut.
The "There is never enough time." rut.
The "My clients are annoying and my staff never does what I want." rut.
The "I wish I was more ________ (exciting, talented, smart – insert yours here) and then life would work out." rut.
Not a complete list but you get the idea. I am committed to you having a passionate, powerful life and business, and so it is the dispassionate, powerless ruts that I want to shake you out of.
Here are a couple of important points on rut- busting:
1. You have to want to bust out of your rut.
Seems pretty straight-forward but let me explain. You may THINK that you want to start eating healthy, or that you want to take dance lessons, or make a million in sales this year, but do you REALLY want it or is it just something that you think you "should" do, or something that others told you is important?
Here is the scoop, if you do not REALLY want it for yourself, you will never have the power to stick to it when things get a little tough or life starts to get in the way.
Invitation: Ask yourself, what rut do I really want to bust free from?
2) You have to believe that you can bust out of your rut.
If you say you want to do or have something, but deep down inside you are living in doubt and fear that you could never do that or that you are not (good, smart, pretty, interesting…) enough to have that, then I am afraid you are doomed before you have even started.
With this in mind, I have a little note for any naysayers out there who doubt yourself and wonder about what you are really capable of. I am here to tell you that you can do just about anything you put your mind to. I mean it, ANYTHING!
- Find great love at 60.
- Build an empire
- Sing Karaoke in front of 350 people
You can do it! I know it because I can see who you really are and you are more brilliant, talented, smart, loveable and wonderful than many of you would ever give yourself credit for.
So, if you have a rut you want to bust out of and you are asking yourself "but could I really?" I am here to say YES YOU CAN and if you don't believe it then talk to someone who believes in you. Heck, give me a call and I will set you straight!
Invitation: Declare right now that you can do this. And if you think you can't, either talk to someone who believes in you for support, or start with something you really believe you can do and work your way up to the big stuff.
3) You have to know you deserve to bust out of your rut.
This one is Key! I am always astonished by people that believe they can never have what they want because they think they are undeserving of it. Wow. That is a profound one for me.
Can you see how if you believe you really do not deserve something that it can never be yours or it can certainly not be yours for long? How hard would you go after something you thought you didn't deserve? Ask yourself that.
My guess is, you would try a little and then give up, because deep down you knew you didn't deserve it, and it will never happen, so why even try.
Who would you need to be (what version of you would you need to be) to deserve this thing? Really, ask yourself that. If you think you are undeserving, look at that and ask yourself “why?” and “says who?”.
As an example; ask yourself, who do I need to be, what do I need to do, in order to DESERVE to be happy? Really?! What would make you deserving of happiness?
In America the right to "the pursuit of happiness" is written into the Declaration of Independence. Do you think an entire population of people would be given the right to pursue something that most of them really didn't deserve? Of course not!
You are inherently deserving, my friend. You were never given an idea about something that you did not deserve to have. So I invite you to declare yourself deserving, and if you still don't believe it, talk to someone who loves you enough to set you strait.
Invitation: Declare yourself deserving of busting out of that rut you have been in. Declare yourself deserving of that thing you want.
If for some reason at this time you are unwilling either talk to someone who can support you in knowing you deserve it or choose something you do deserve.
So this brings us to the ultimate rut-busting question.
Are you willing to take action to bust free of your rut and begin to live the life you have imagined?
Once you are clear on what you want, the rut you want to bust free from, and you believe you are both capable and deserving of it then what there is to do is ACT on what you have chosen for your life.
Do you want to find work that inspires you?
Start making a list of what you love to do, research careers, go on an informational interview.
Are you ready to find the love of your life?
Make a list of everything you want in your partner, start telling people you are looking for a fabulous person who meets your list, maybe even get online.
Do you want to have more adventure in your life?
Write down 5 things right now that seem adventurous to you, pick one and do it this week.
Invitation: Are you ready to bust free from your rut? Write down 5-10 possible actions you could take to bust you out, pick one and take it, now!
Your life, your business, has the capacity to be a brilliant, joyful, passionate adventure. The things that make your heart ache for them are there to call you forth to a life that delights and inspires you.
You would only call a rut "a rut" if there was something not working for you, and anything in your life that is not working is merely pointing you to a place for you to take action.
An uncomfortable rut is really a big neon sign shouting, "Take your life to the next level!" And that is great news!
So I invite you to declare it is rut-busting time! Do it with gusto, do it now and revel in the new life you create!