coachjoelle.com

Mine and everyone in America’s apparently.

If you have known me for awhile then you know I have the entertainment taste of a 15 year old (Chuck Bass rocks my world!) With that said, I must admit, this past month’s Monday-night Bachelor habit was thrust upon me by my loving husband (don’t even try to deny it babe!)  So I have been diligently tuning in to see the charming and sensitive Jason Mesnick woo 25 women in hopes of finding his one true love.

By now, if you have turned on your TV or visited a chat room or social network in the past 24 hours, you know that this most recent bachelor took a most shocking turn and the country is up in arms.

On the final show, Jason had to choose between Molly, a lovely blond who clearly rocked his world with the most captivating eyes (which  he commented about on almost every date) and bubbly brunette Melissa whose energy, kindness and loving way had her as our frontrunner (after Stephanie who Jeff had picked out for Jason from day one.)

On that final show Jason had to say goodbye to one girl and commit to the other and this was a problem as he had stated repeatedly, he was clearly in love with two women.  

As I have watched Jason over the previous weeks I had come to have a deep appreciation for his leveled approach, his kindness and his respect for the women.  I loved how he was moved to tears repeatedly as he had to say goodbye to fabulous woman after fabulous women as he narrowed his search.

As the finale drew near we saw the previews of Jason out on the deck of his New Zealand residence, sobbing.  Every time I saw that clip my heart went out to him – it really was beautiful to see that level of emotion -and I came to appreciate him even more.

And then came the moment we had all been waiting for.

As I watched the action real-time, after much suspense we came to find that these tears of heartbreak and devastation were the after-effects of saying goodbye to Molly so that he could be with Melissa.  In my head a quiet warning sounded “This young man does not know what he wants right now.”

In the very next scene I was proven wrong as Jason asked Melissa to marry him.  Saying he could finally say to her what he had wanted to all along, “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

Flash forward to “After the final rose” in a turn of events so shocking that they had to shoot without a studio audience, Jason unceremoniously ends his engagement with Melissa and asks Molly to give him another chance.

I will not lie. There was much booing and yelling at the television when the news broke in our household and Jason’s stock went down about 3000 points.

Now the country is up in arms, everyone has an opinion and I figured the Coach Joelle would weigh in for good measure.

1) This is not real life. It is a TV show and  I get that there is a certain amount of pressure to end the show with a ring on someone’s finger.  I can understand how this could have a person making decisions that they may not have made in the “real world.”

2) I acknowledge Jason for having the courage to be so darn unpopular and go back on his proposal before the marriage actually happened. Lesser men would have tried to stick it out a few years before the impending divorce.

3) Melissa’s comment on how she had one sacred time to say yes to spending the rest of her life with someone and that he took that away from her, is totally valid and really makes Jason seem like a super cad!  That is where every heart in the room broke.  She went for it, she trusted and he blew that trust out of the water with dynamite.  Gentlemen, learn from Jason’s folly, engagements are not to be taken lightly.

4) There are rumors going around about Molly, her personal life and her morals and while I guess having your laundry aired is one of the unfortunate costs of public exposure today, I truly hope that people think twice before spreading unfounded rumors about any of these people.  It is not something that makes the world a better place.

5) I have not been living their lives so I do not know what happened in their 6 weeks of engagement that caused Jason to throw in the towel, but the issue is that it appears neither did bride-to-be, Melissa.  This leaves me to deduce that he is either lost/confused/fickle, to propose to a girl one day and within a little over a month decide she is not it, and/or, he needs to work on his communication if he wants this relationship to have a chance (I cannot fathom how his finance could get dumped on national television with no idea what happened.)

6) I wish Jason and Molly great happiness. I hope we see them in married bliss alongside Trista and Ryan in future episodes.   They have some major PR issues to work through and I still get this impression that Jason is not quite ready for the level of commitment he thinks he wants (or at least not with anyone currently in his life) but of course this is a judgment based on the finely edited story of a reality television show, so who knows.

Tune in May 18th when 3rd runner up, Gillian takes on a gaggle of men as the new bachelorette (see you on the couch!)

 Funny how some of the most watched TV out there is just real life on camera.  The human experience is an amazing thing. No wonder I love what I do. 
 

 With Love,

Joelle

 Hello citizens of America!

I have been thinking a lot recently.  I have been thinking about the times we are in and the current affairs.  The world waits as America fights for its future in an intense election and navigates an economic situation that is arguably the most challenging of the modern age.  And here I am, someone who tends not to pay attention to such things, paying very close attention to such things and recognizing that it would be inappropriate to let this period pass without comment.

My job, my commitment in life is for all people to experience the magic of a life lived on purpose.  I stand for love, peace, courage and people just being happy.   While I am an imperfect person and I do not always hit the mark, these are the things to which I aspire and what I want to create in my own life and in the world.

 So in the face of the world at this moment (and the US in particular) I will put aside my usual bright eyes and happy, empowerment-centered message to share a reflection of this moment in history.

I have thought for weeks now.  What do I write about all of this? How do I share without hurting offending or alienating some part or other of the population during these heated times?   It has left me relating to a line by Canadian singing group, Moxi Fruvous, a satirical often political group of buskers that became a staple in the mainstream Canadian pop scene in the 90’s.

The line in question opens a song entitled “The Gulf War Song” written about the first gulf war.

“We got a call to write a song about the war in the gulf,
but we shouldn’t hurt anyone’s feelings.
So we tried….. then gave up…. Because there was no such song.
But the trying was very revealing.”

I understand how they felt.

Over the past months I have been forwarded many emails (as I am sure you all have) that have come from people I have respected and admired speaking very specifically and passionately about the election and the candidates. It takes courage to share such strong views and I will not be following their lead.  

The truth is that after the primaries I would have voted for either candidate happily, I was actually quite content because what I saw in that brief shining moment was a better world either way and two men who shared my views and would take us to a brighter future.  But today, I do not feel that. In this race I have seen things that trouble and disappoint me, things that make me question what we are doing, what are we becoming as a nation and what values we are fostering.

I stand here, watching an increasingly heated struggle for power between two parties and the echoing response from the public; angry chanting, booing, defacement of property, violence and even someone carving up their own body to fuel the fire of divisiveness and fear.

While some of this activity is certainly the behavior of a few unstable people, how much of this is actually created by the negative campaigning, antagonistic speaches and that “anything goes” mentality of the modern election?

Read the entire article

Sometimes a coach just has to take a stand.  Read away, comment at will and please, please VOTE!

COACH JOELLE

Hi Gang, 

I am finishing up a week of sunshine, hot tubs and afternoon naps as my husband and I engage in a week of Arizona living (we have taken it as a warm-up for our future plans – a month long winter hiatus in coming years.)  I wanted to take a moment to share some thoughts on the economy in these interesting times.

This email was sent from one of the life-makers participating in the Make Your Life Program and she shared something that is on many of our minds.  She asked…

“Any tips for those of us who are living in "Fear Central" with this whole economic situation?  I am finding that I am working full-time to protect my mind from the gloom-doom mindset that so many people are talking – and I am succeeding some of the time, but not all of the time.  Would love your suggestions.”

So here is what I have to say on the economy.

I have often wondered, over the previous weeks, if no one had television or access to radio, how many of us would be aware of the economic downturn we are experiencing. And even more importantly, I wonder how much of what is happening is being caused real-time by people reacting to the idea that we are in an economic down-turn/ recession/depression etc.

Personally, I am not experiencing an economic downturn and I have no intention of experiencing one.  This is not arrogance, this is just my intention and I take steps everyday with the full expectation that this intention be fulfilled.  Oh sure, my net worth is about ½ of what it was a month ago but that just means it is a great time to invest!!! I know by the time that I need to retire all my happy little stocks and funds will have reached new heights, so whatever they are doing right now is really none of my concern.

So, I ask you, if you forgot about the news and you just looked at your life, what evidence would you have that there was a problem right now?

For those of you who see none, bravo.  For you the next question is, what do you need to think and what action do you need to take to continue creating the life that you want?

For those of you who are seeing the signs ie.  your are living off your investments that have just lost 40% of their value, you have 5 rental properties that are not worth what you bought them for and you have run out of renters, or you work for a bank or maybe a mortgage company, then now, more than ever is the time to guard your thoughts and look for solutions instead of focusing on the problems.

The economy is a duck my friends. (For those of you who are unfamiliar with the duck story – take a moment to listen to this 5 minute recording and you can learn all about the ducks.)  What I mean by this is, the economy is doing what it is doing and if you are open to seeing it as not good or bad, not disastrous, but instead approach it with interest and inquisitiveness, then you will likely see that even inside of this particular set of circumstances there is opportunity, hope and a bright future.

So the questions to ask at this particular time in history are:

1)    What do you want?

2)    What way of thinking will best support what you want?

3)    What way of “being” is going to give you the most joy in your day and the most power in creating your future?

4)    What action can you take right now?

If you are willing to ask these questions and be open to their answers there is opportunity, hope and excitement available.

As an example: I have a client that is in the investment business.

And not just any investments.  He cannot take a client with less than $1,000,000 to invest.  It would be easy for him to throw in the towel and close the doors until brighter times.  But In our last conversation I asked him to think about who needs him right now, even with everything that is going on.  He was able to quickly rattle off the people who not only could use someone of his caliber working on their team, but who might be actively seeking someone just like him at this very moment!

He made his list and then we went to work looking at where he could find these people.  He left the call with a clear objective and inspired action to take.  I look forward to hearing the stories about how he created the best earning months of his career while his competitors hid their heads in the sand.

If we just take a moment and apply the SEE BE DO GET model to the situation you can quickly see how essential it is to focus on what you want instead of getting mired in the muck.

If your point of view (SEE) is that – “All is lost and there are no jobs, no business and no hope…..”

You are likely to BE…. Sad, depressed, anxious, angry (insert your favorite doom and gloom emotion here__________)

Then you will DO whatever is natural from that place and my guess is that it will not be the most powerful and inspired action you could take to accomplish what you want.

And then you will GET the total affirmation that life is not going to work out and we are all going to H – E – double hockey sticks in a hand-basket (where the heck did that expression ever come from anyway?)

So, clearly, focusing on the problems will not get you anywhere.

Now I am not saying ignore what is going on.  It is totally valid to take a look at your own reality and ask yourself, “What would responsible action look like?” Are you living within your means? Are you honoring the money you have? Do you know what it takes to sustain your current lifestyle?

Knowing the facts can be a powerful starting point for dealing with what is so, alleviating anxiety and just taking the action that is necessary.

The coach’s advice for weathering our current economic situation…

1)    Get in touch with the “facts” (the ducks) of your life.

2)    Get clear on the future you want to create.

3)    Proceed and take action accordingly, regardless of what the news is saying or your friends sit around and talk about. 

The life you want is available right now if you believe it!  If you focus on what you want, if you believe in the power of your dreams and your own ability to create your life, if you take inspired action, today can be a day of great beginnings and the future can be very bright.

Believe it and you will see it.

With love and optimism,

Coach Joelle

Dear friends,

I am writing you in tears, sobbing from a dark room.

I am at a friends place and they happened to have a book I had heard of called Skinny Bitch

. As I read the chapters chronicling the atrocities our food source is subjected to, carcinogenic chemicals, antibiotics, and general junk that you would never knowingly put in your body, I was happy to see they were getting the word out, even if some of the language was at times superfluously coarse (rather turretts-like) – which should be no surprise if the name is any indication.

It was an enjoyable read and served in helping me to clarify the food choices I am currently grappling with…

… yep organic is the way to go,
… fresh fruits and veggies rock,
… cut out dairy ( Need calcium? Eat some broccoli.)

I knew this, but the message was being especially well supported in this book.

And then I got to the chapter on factory farming and slaughter, and my soul was rocked to its core.

For 99.99 percent of us in North America, meat is just something that shows up in little perfectly cut packages waiting for us on our store shelves.  I have had several friends who are vegetarians on principle, who just couldn’t bring themselves to eat another living being. I never begrudged them for their point of view but I never really got their point.

Today I read about animal slaughter practices in the chapter titled “You are What You Eat”. 

The atrocities in the treatment of these animals are beyond comprehension.

And In case you are saying “ya, yah”

I say emphatically no! NO! 

I am not even sure I can recreate what I read, all I can tell you is that in significant portions of the places where our society is manufacturing and slaughtering animals for our consumption there is great suffering, pain, and unspeakable travesties committed against the creatures we are sharing the planet with.

If you are unclear what I am speaking of, buy the book Skinny Bitch

or read Slaughterhouse: The Shocking Story of Greed, Neglect, and Inhumane Treatment Inside the U.S. Meat Industry by Gail Eisnitz (a chief investigator for the Humane Farming Association) or search google or YouTube for “slaughterhouse videos”.

One that recently made its way into the news was this undercover video by the Humane Society of America –

watch humane society video

When I see the images and read the stories of these horrific transgressions they are not a surprise considering the trend I have been witnessing in our society for sacrificing all things (compassion, humanity, the planet) for profit and greed.   I am not surprised, but I am completely horrified.  I feel painfully present to the darkness I have been a part of by eating animals that have come from these uncaring, cruel and inhumane facilities.

Please do not misunderstand me. At this point in time I am not against eating meat.

It would be one thing (for me anyway) to eat an animal that was raised happy and healthy, in an all natural way and then was gently appreciated and humanely killed to support my life.  I understand that many animal lovers and vegetarians may condemn me for being ok with this, but at this point that idea still feels ok.

What is happening today, in many cases, is nothing remotely close to this idyllic picture. Today, it seems that animal production is treated as industry, no different than steel production or manufacturing toilet paper, the only thing is that the product is living creatures.  Being large scale, for-profit organizations, the kind of thinking that runs these companies is often the same that creates Enron catastrophes, the same that carelessly pollutes the planet and the same that will feed a population on sugary, fatty and nutrient-void food and promote it to children because it makes great business.  It is all about more, more, more, profit and productivity and the result is a soulless, cruel, abomination.

I hurt.

Right now I am completely unclear as to what to do. I am not sold on soy and I have been a very comfortable meat eater to this point.  As I look to the months ahead as I plan to start a family I have extra concern about eating fully vegetarian as I take on this new phase.  With that being said, I do not know how I could reconcile eating Factory farm slaughterhouse meat from our regular suppliers knowing I would be a part of this corrupt cycle of greed and inhumanity.

If you are a compassionate person with a desire to do good in the world I believe this is something you should know.

I liken what I am experiencing to the feeling my husband experienced last year.

He and I participated in a dolphin swim in the Caribbean.  Less than a month later Jeff found out about the dolphin hunts in Japan (a major supplier of dolphins for these leisure companies  – graphic video’s of this practice can be found on BlueVoice.org)  and the high mortality rate of Dolphins in captivity.  He was a broken man for weeks after realizing what our money had contributed to.  I now have an idea of how he felt. The guilt and sadness for being an unknowing supporter of something like this brings a heavy weight.

For those of you who know me, I am not an alarmist and I am not an activist (at least I have not been in the past – now, who knows?). I am someone who looks on the bright side and who sees the good in the world.

With that being said, I cannot express enough how sad this is to me, and how I want nothing to do with any industry that would practice or allow and this sort of cruelty to animals.

I am starting today to actively explore how I can live as a vegetarian and I will also be exploring the availability of a local meat supply where I can personally witness their practices; one that is organic, healthy and run with love and compassion.

I am uncomfortable with the task at hand – we are talking significant life changes. But I must.

And as far as feeling like I might miss something.  That I might feel deprived somehow for not being able to grab a steak at our favorite restaurant or have milk in my latte, to this I say-

No piece of steak, no spicy chicken breast is worth compromising my integrity on this issue.  Not a chance.

I have shared this with you out of the emotion of the moment and because I simply could not – not share it.

As a final note I want to reiterate I do not begrudge anyone who carefully and humanely keeps or kills animals for consumption.  If you happen to know a facility that fits this bill, I seem to have come into the market.

You have your choices as I have mine.  I wanted you to know what I am learning.

In love,

Joelle
 

Browsing the shelves of your favorite video store, looking for a little holiday entertainment used to be a family event.  Well, from my latest trip to rent a flick I am thinking you may want to leave the children at home.

Every once in a while I see something worthy of a coach Joelle rant and my latest trip to the video store supplied my latest fodder.

I am basically a happy person (just in case you were wondering).  I like kittens and animated films and cheesy chick flicks and I became clear some time ago that I am not a huge fan of the horror genre (I like to be able to sleep at night and not watch an entire movie through my fingers.)

Now, don’t get me wrong, there is a place for all of it, the good the bad and the ugly.  The thing that is distressing me today is the proliferation of horrifying, gruesome, movie covers laying around the shelves of the movie store.

As I walk the aisles, confronted with that little black eyed child from “The Grudge” and the dirty, torn and bloody fingernails on the cover of “Saw II” I realize that horror is no longer confined to the "horror section".  The new release wall is inundated with vacant bloodshot eyes, shredded bodies, blood and monsters that will have you sleeping with the lights on.

I do not begrudge the movie makers for giving it everything they have got to promote and sell their product and at the same time it has me wondering, when did we make it ok to have these graphic images lining the shelves of a place for family entertainment.

What about the little people? Would I want my 4 year old to come face to face with a red eyed wolf-thing with blood dripping off it’s fangs or the screaming girl, completely covered and waist high in blood?  Nope. Not a chance.

Maybe there is something to do about it, maybe not, but it certainly made me stop and think. 

This holiday, make the hot chocolate, grab some popcorn, and send dad out to pick up the movie.

Sending Peace,

Joelle

Dear spammers,

While you seem to have not heeded my request to cease and desist your barrage of emails into my in box, I do want to acknowledge you for the cleaner, more attractive visual you have created for the Viagra ad.

Once again, while I am not in the market for Viagra, I must say that this new, higher quality graphic does make it pretty tempting. 

Great work!

Regards,

The non-medicated,

Coach Joelle

Dear Spammers,

Today I am compelled to write you in response to your repeated inquiry.  I am so sorry that your many requests and offers have gone without response for so long.  In case there has been any question in the past I have a couple of things to share with you:

I have no interest in Viagra no matter how low the price.
I am not looking for a Canadian drug supplier.
I appreciate the stock tips but I have my own sources of information.
I will not be sending money to get you out of the country despite the considerable reward.
I will not be sending you my user name, password or customer access for ANYTHING.
I would love to believe that I have won your lottery but for some reason I am thinking it just isn’t so.

So now we are clear I want to share something with you.  Do you know what it feels like to think you are getting an email from a long lost friend only to open it and find out it was just a spammer using a clever headline? Do you know what it is like to think you are opening an email to respond to someone’s request for help only to find out it is a scam? Do you know what it is like to sort through hundreds of fraudulent, misleading email just to respond to the precious people who want to talk to you? 

Well I do, and not only is it annoying and frustrating I find it sad and disheartening.

So I ask you:

Who are you being in the world that you think it is ok to make money through the deception of others?  What are you selling that the only way someone will respond to your product offering is to pretend you are someone you are not?

What is your relationship to your own value and your ability to create abundance that your business is built on a lie? 

How do you feel about what you are contributing to the planet and humanity?

I do not mean to sound self righteous or overly critical, I just want you to know that you have made an impact in my life.

With the writing of this blog, I declare us complete.  I do not expect a response.

And I request, please, do not send me any further emails.

Thank you,

Joelle