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It has been 3 weeks since I completed my integrity experiment and having found a quiet moment I thought I would take this opportunity to close the loop on my journey.

It has been a great ride, much was learned and even more was created.

Hmmm. Let’s see….

1) Happy animals: 

One area of major triumph was my integrity around only eating animals that came from free roaming farms and to not contribute to the factory farming industry.  I have been acting on this for some time now but rarely with such consistency and vigilance. 

With free range eggs as a staple and the occasional serving of grass fed beef I have found my way to a much more vegetable centered existence and there is no experience of hardship.  When I go to a restaurant I look for the black bean soup and applaud the restaurant if they have gone to the care of having free range chicken on the menu. 

By taking this on in my integrity experiment it has truly helped me turn the corner to a primarily vegetarian diet as a joyful choice without the experience of hardship or sacrifice.

2) 97.5 Degrees:

raising my body temperature was another triumph.  I had been taking my temperature in an attempt to track body temperature for fertility and all that good stuff.  My temperature hanging out in the 96’s along with an unusually low metabolism drew me to conclude that thyroid may be an issue.   I dug in, asked more questions, read more and explored and with the help of my faithful chiropractor and B12 supplements my body is living in the 97’s with regularity. YAY!

The intention and action it took to take charge of this issue and make this change came directly from my experiment and I am grateful to have this small piece of my physical puzzle in place.

3) Guess Who’s Allergic To Gluten and Casin?

Out of my increased attention to health and my quest for unanswered physical questions, my doctor encouraged me to get blood tests to determine a possible gluten or casein allergy (wheat or milk) and low and behold I am positive for both of them.  I am so excited to learn this!  While milk had been pretty much dropped because of the afore mentioned ethical issues, Wasa crackers and Ezekiel sprouted grain bread have been a staple for some time. 

As I think back I can remember countless people asking if I have a cold to which I reply “no” and shrug it off as a bad phone connection. Could it be that my body has been fighting off the affects of my food all this time? Who knows, but as I turn in my whole wheat and oatmeal for Quinoa and buckwheat I am truly excited for this step towards greater health, one that I actually saw as an ultimate goal but had not yet had the motivation to act on.  Funny how life works that way.

4) Pondering Wine and Other “Goodies”: 

You may recall that part of this process was to experiment around the place of alcohol and sugar in my life and the findings are conclusive.

They don’t fit.  Not forever, but certainly not for now.  

Right after my crash and burn post I made a new arrangement with myself, no alcohol and no sweets until I hit 139 lbs. Why this number you ask? Well, it’s the number I have in my head and it’s not far away and historically I have demonstrated that when I play with sweets and wine it just gets in the way of this health goal so I just don’t want it in my life right now. Again, I’m not saying never, but none of it has a place as a daily installment for me.

The cool thing is that again, I feel no hardship.  Instead of wine I drink 100% cranberry juice with a little stevia. It looks like the real thing and it has a depth that is actually quite satisfying. As for the sweets, I have found that 1 tbsp of coconut, 1 tsp of raw organic cocoa powder and 1 packet of stevia with a little cinnamon is totally satisfying and I rarely ever have the need to do more than one serving. It gives me the chocolaty goodness without any of the drama.

5) Happy news on the decaf front:

Ok, one more thing about health. Since I drew a line around decaf coffee (the decaffeination process can be toxic and I cannot do strong caffeine because it makes me freaky) I have revealed some helpful information in my quest for a happy cup of coffee. 

First off, the good people at www.swisswater.com responded to one of my blog posts and shared that their process which uses water for the decaffeination process instead of solvents.  After looking into it I realized that many of my favorite coffee providers were already ahead of the curve on this one, using swiss water processed coffee in their establishments allowing me to have my “coffee without compromise.” 

Before I had discovered this decaf solution I had also made a trip to whole foods for coffee alternatives and I am quite happy to report that my new favorite drink is French roast Teeccino with unsweetened almond milk.  No caffeine, alkalizing (instead of acidic – coffee is acidic) cozy comfort in cup.

6) Meditation Shmeditation:  

Spiritually, a lot has happened due to my experiment.  I set out to meditate daily which I did for the experiment but it has not stuck afterward which is interesting.  I think I would be well served by a spiritual practice guided by someone else to get this to make this process more purposeful and meaningful.

7) One Inspired Community Coming up!:

In week 3 of my experiment I had a sudden burst of inspiration that has completely enriched my life and in a very real way created structure for me to continue to live very intentionally beyond the experiment. 

Last year a coach friend of mine suggested I do Julia Cameron’s the Artist’s Way  based on some of the things I shared with her about where my head was and what I was looking for.  I wanted to explore this but when I was cast in Beachwood Community Theaters production of the princess Snow White earlier this year I realized that rehearsal would conflict with any regularly occurring evening commitment so I put off starting the group. 

Well the idea came back to me during my experiment and it caused me to act rapidly.  I sent out an email to 10 gentle souls who I thought would like share the 12 week journey with me.  I had the email crafted and sent within the day.  I had 8 yes’s and we began the following Wednesday.

Little did I know that with this email I had managed to pull together the soulful community I had been longing for since I moved to Cleveland. In this group I am “student” not “teacher” and it is an opportunity to create, to explore, to be messy and to share love.

Who knows where we will take it after the 12 weeks of the program are complete, it doesn’t matter, all I know is that a deep need has just been filled and it happened in an instant and I am overwhelmed with gratitude.

Gentle Hands: 

Early on in my experiment I was called to get into action to find holistic/energetic nourishment, education and reprieve.  I started on a quest to find a spiritual mentor or a home for the next phase of my development.

I explored energy practitioners, and naturopathic resources and while I am still looking for a guide to support the elevation of my understanding of the world, I find it intriguing that a major piece of my puzzle was here all along.  

I am happy to announce that I have found a gentle place for the replenishment of my soul in the loving hands of Debbie Craven Massage Therapist, Reiki Master, Reflexologist and wise woman extraordinaire.  The first time I met Debbie she gave Jeff and I reflexology treatments at a wellness fair.  I loved her energy and have returned to her little peaceful studio for birthdays and special occasions. 

The 30 minute drive to her studio through Ohio’s beautiful countryside was a true delight for my senses and the moment I was on her table every care in the world drifted out of my head, I found blissful Zenned-out happiness, she has a real talent.

While she did her work we discussed resources, methodology and connections for me to continue my quest for spiritual deepening and physical healing.

This wonderful experience lead me to the obvious question.  “Why on earth would I save such a gift just for birthdays and special occasions?”  Debbie and I now have a standing 90 minute monthly appointment. And I look forward to our insightful conversations, and her gentle care of my body and soul.

9) I could go on but….:

I am realizing I could write much more than I am sure anyone wants to read on all of this so I am going to wrap it up by saying that my life is rising. I can feel it.  I feel light, creative, peaceful, healthy, excited, alert and alive.

I smile as I realize that my integrity experiment has really just been an exercise in Life-Making. Sometimes I do not put enough value on the work I do in the world – I don’t take myself seriously.  The truth is that being a conscious creator in life is the key to a joyful today and a beautiful tomorrow and through my experiment I essentially put every lesson in the Make Your Life Program into high gear in my life with awesome results.

I think I will ride this wave for awhile. My head open to possibility, my heart open to god, dancing with the magic of life.

Thank you for sharing this journey with me.

With love,

Joelle

If it is your time to reclaim the joy in your life and start taking yourself and your dreams seriously, join me for the Make Your Life Program October 13-December 8, 2010.

Some people come to me because they have a goal they want to achieve; others come in search of a deeper knowing of themselves, to shift old ingrained patterns and habits; still others come to recapture their zest for life, seeking to reconnect to joy and adventure.  And every once in while, I meet someone who is lost, floating rudderless and without mooring because they have fallen victim to their own success.

Have you noticed how often it is at the very pinnacle of professional achievement that we hear the Broadway actress or the successful lawyer or the best-selling author questioning “Is this all there is?”

Take my client Rebecca for example.  A respected doctor, proud parent and loving wife, she had been following the path to achievement for as long as she could remember.

Pre-med, medical school, building her practice, becoming an expert in her field, each step followed the one before as she reached for professional excellence.

Voted one of the top docs in her major metropolitan area and with the financial means to do whatever she wanted in life, one would expect Rebecca to be flying high.

Like so many, having reached the top of a mountain which she had been climbing for decades, Rebecca found herself with nowhere else to climb. Without that next challenge, her sense of purpose dwindled, without direction or motivation she found herself losing interest in her life.

Dissatisfied with the idea of spending the next 50 years hanging out on scenic vistas, she sought support to begin to unlock the dreams still waiting to be born. It was time for her to create a new inspired future to live into.

A Life Without An Inspired Future Is Like The Coyote Without The Roadrunner!

We all remember the old Looney Tunes Cartoons where Wile E. Coyote spends episode after episode in the tireless pursuit of the ever-elusive Roadrunner.

Imagine for a moment what Wile E’s life would become if he ever managed to catch and eat his infamous foe?

It would be tragic! Not just for the Roadrunner (obviously) but for Wile E. too!

No more concocting ingenious schemes, no more plummeting off cliffs, no more crates arriving from ACME! (As a point of interest, acme means the highest point, as of achievement or development.)

Wile E.'s future, the one where he catches and eats his tantalizing Roadrunner, would be expired. 

Left without a goal, a purpose, a raison d’etre, nothing left to compel or propel him, Wile E. would be set adrift.  Life as he knows it would cease to exist!

Coach Help Me! I think My future Just Expired!

If you can relate with either of these stories, you may just have an Expired Future on your hands.

Let’s take a look:

Figure A) and B) below demonstrate the energizing effect of an Inspired Future; one which authentically engages you and pulls you to its completion.

Figure C) shows the drain that often follows the thrill of the finish-line, when you move past the vision you had and into the abyss. The future you once held so tightly no longer has value or provides meaning. It has effectively expired.

Figure D) holds the remedy.  By selecting a new, heartfelt and worthy point on the horizon you put the wind back in your sales with a new Inspired Future.

Does this mean that we must forever be in the dogged pursuit of lofty goals, fame, money, success – always accomplishing without a moment to breathe or rest in order to live a good life?

No, of course not.  But it does mean that your life needs purpose.

Whether it is exploring the practice of being in the moment, learning to paint or seeking to be the best spouse or parent you can be, no goal is too great or too small to be inspired. It must simply come from the authentic longings of your heart.

The invitation:

The next time you happen to be rounding out a major accomplishment:

1) Be sure to celebrate, BIG TIME!

2) When the excitement wears off and you find yourself wondering “what’s next?”, remember that it is natural to feel a little disconnected, uninspired or let down after the future you once courageously pursued is old news.  Do not fear.  This feeling need only be temporary. 

3) Reconnect and reengage in your life – look, listen, explore.  There is always a new Inspired Future waiting to bring energy, joy and meaning to your days.

It may take some soul searching but trust me.  With as many worthy journeys as there are drops of water in the ocean, it is only a matter of time and intention before life sweeps you up in a new adventure.

With Love,

Joelle

P.S. If you are ready to discover a new inspired future for your life I know just the place to build a brilliant tomorrow. Join me for the Make Your Life Program Starting October 13th – December 8th, 2010. Read More

Good Morning!

You know when you get those chain emails that say “send this to 200 people or all your traffic lights will be red” or some other such nonsense? Well, I rarely forward them and I usually skip the read all together, but this week an angel in my life sent me an email that was poignant and share-worthy (thanks mom).  It set a string of ripples in motion in the lives of the people I love and the lives that their lives touch and I thought I would keep it rippling.

For anyone who is going through what may seem like unusually hard times, the story of the two travelling angels reminds us that life is not always as it seems.
 

Two Travelling Angels

Two travelling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family.

The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room.

Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement.

As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it.

When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied,

"Things aren't always what they seem.."

The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife.

After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest.

When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears.

Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field.

The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel how could you have let this happen?

The first man had everything, yet you helped him, he accused..

The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let the cow die.

"Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied.

"When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall.

Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the  wall so he wouldn't find it."

"Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed,  the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him the cow instead.

Things aren't always what they seem."
 

The Invitation

When life is not being served up the way you think it should be, consider that there is a bigger picture, the shape of which is grander and more intricate than you can even imagine.

With time and distance we are repeatedly shown how today’s hardship can be tomorrow’s blessing and as a wonderfully insightful greeting card once stated;
 

“It all works out in the end. If it has not worked out yet, it’s not the end.”

Have faith and patience in the divine unfolding of your precious life and remember, if you are open, if you are willing to look, to listen for the good and the growth, it is always, always there.
 

With love,
 

Joelle

My father was dying.

It seemed like a good enough reason to not attend.

On the surface it sounded valid enough but if I were to be honest with myself, it was an excuse. A good excuse but an excuse none the less. 

It was my last year of university and I was part of a student organization of Peer Advisors.  We counseled fellow students on everything from stress management to cross-dressing.  On St Patrick’s day you would find us handing out green “in case you get lucky” prophylactics and we were practiced in giving condom application instruction using anything from bananas to a handy little device aptly named “woody” designed for  just the occasion.

The meeting, from which I was “excusing” myself this day was not STD related, but was instead of a more serious nature. It was an opportunity for Peers to share their experiences, to report, if you will, on their volunteer Peer Placement. 

Some were placed in Job Services, others in AIDS education, and two precious souls entrusted their semester to me in the “Peer Promotions Placement”, a function I developed to express my own creative promotional ideas in service of the organization.  The two team members who joined me in my quest were talented creatives able to bring my lofty visions to pen-and-paint-on-paper reality.

Leading up to the event, my team was not oozing confidence.  They seemed confused on what to report. They looked to me for direction but I pushed back.  They’d known about the meeting for months and on some level I was annoyed with their lack of initiative.

I left them to figure it out and sent them off to the meeting without me. 

Looking back, I must have known instinctually that something was about to hit the fan but I still wasn’t quiet ready for what went down.

Some People Are Born Leaders. Apparently, I was not.

“She treats us like TRAINED MONKEYS!!!”

That’s a direct quote, conveyed to me by the Peer Coordinator in the aftermath of my missed meeting. 

This comment was but a highlight in the litany of criticism they shelled out in my absence.  I was shocked, shamed and hurt, but to their credit, to this very day I have not heard micromanagement described more colorfully.

With the school year almost over and my father’s death a throbbing daily ache it was easy to plead ignorance, avoid the whole situation and miss the lesson.  But as with all essential life lessons, this one was going to keep coming at me until I got it.

Feed back delivered:

Response: Avoidance

12 months later I found myself once again called into the office.  I was one of a dozen youth employment agents, who matched students with summer employment.

Sitting across from my boss, Doris delivered her message fast and hard without preamble.

“Joelle. EVERYONE is complaining about you. You are REALLY ABRASIVE.”

My reaction was a one two punch of defense and resentment followed by justification and a healthy dose of righteousness thrown in for good measure. 

I rationalized that “everyone” was clearly an unnecessarily dramatic overstatement and I was sure the whole thing was related to a particularly blatant display of incompetence from my fellows regarding the PROPER and AGREED UPON placement of the ever-important client file paperclip (SIDE, NOT TOP! When were they going to get that strait?!)

Feedback Delivered:

Response: Justification

Next stop,  Manpower.

It was a couple years into my employment as a branch manager and whether it was out of a desire for growth or a hunger for success, I had begun to seek out opportunities for development. 

I learned all “7 Habits”, I was quick to throw out a deserved “Whale Done!” and I rallied my team to create “Raving Fans”.

Despite all my hard work. I ended up in the office yet again! Actually, more specifically, my staff member, Anna, came to my office, and she had news to deliver. 

She was there as an ambassador of the team. She had come to tell me that they felt I was disengaged and distant and that I was not leading them.

She had me. It was true. I had been avoiding and hiding out. 

Thanks to Anna’s act of faith and courage the feedback was delivered and I got back to the business of being the leader that I was committed to being. 

Feedback Delivered:

Response:  Action

Fast forward to 2004, I was running a branch in Tempe, AZ and I was on an active quest for great leadership, effective communication and professional satisfaction.  I had received my coaching certification and every interaction with a team member, coworker or client was a place for service, an opportunity for growth and a chance to live more fully as “a fearless leader igniting the sparkle in people’s eyes.”

I was having lots of meetings in my office those days, but these meetings had a slightly different tone.

As Heather was promoted to a higher-paying position in another division she had some feedback to convey.

“I really mean it when I say that the hardest part of leaving was to know that you were not going with me. Thank you for making me feel I can reach my full potential and that I should never stop pushing myself to be the best I can be.”

Brenda had a few choice words herself as she was on her way out the door, promoted to the onsite position she had actively pursued and won.

“Joelle is by far the most personable, vivacious, understanding and knowledgeable manager. She has always made a fun work environment, she is excellent with people and has a wonderful, true caring personality.” (Take THAT Doris!)

Feedback Delivered:

Response: Do the happy dance!

Even reading this today I am a little in awe at how far I have come. 

I share this journey with you for a couple of reasons. 

1) First of all, I have always wanted to share the “trained monkeys” story, it was so absolutely brutal to receive at an already devastating time in my life but it is a part of my story and in the telling of it I cracked myself up and hopefully helped you realize that no case is hopeless. 

2) Secondly I want to demonstrate how we all start somewhere.  Whatever feedback you are getting now in your life, consider it a gift, something to help you grow. 

And remember, if you don’t get the lesson the first time, don’t worry, it will come around to hit you upside the head again sooner or later (at this point in our lives my friends and I have made it a habit to get the message when it is a tap on the shoulder instead of waiting until it is a brick flying at your head.)

3) Finally, as I look back at my personal path from controlling, abrasive and avoidant to fearless and loving leader, I see it as an example of our capacity to grow in the direction of our desires. 

I never wanted to be a jerk boss or a freakishly annoying coworker – I just didn’t know how to do any different.  The feedback received along the way gave me an awareness of how I was showing up in the world and with that awareness came the opportunity to make a new choice; a choice to adjust, to learn, to seek my inner leader, grow into a higher version of myself and reap the rewards.

The Invitation:

The idea of feedback being a gift was first presented to me by Jim W. an internal trainer at Manpower.  This one idea radically changed the exchange of information in our office and opened the door to a world of growth.

Whether it’s a direct message a la “trained monkey’s” or more subtle like the whole family secretly feeding your casserole to the dog, take a deep breath, and remember, feedback is a gift if you dare to receive and unwrap. 

May all your feedback come to you from a place of love and may you have the strength and courage to find the lesson before the bricks start flying.

XO

Joelle

Twenty year from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. 
So throw off the bowlines. 
Sail away from the safe harbor. 
Catch the trade winds in your sails. 
Explore. Dream. Discover.                         ~ Mark Twain

Hi guys!

A month ago my good friend Leslie called in an impassioned state.

She had just come from a business meeting where they’d created “bucket lists” and having left with only “3 measly things” on her list she was looking for a way to bulk it up a bit.

She asked me to facilitate a Bucket List Party at her place and I was a HUGE “YES!” A bucket list designed around your passions can powerfully support you living an extraordinary life and, of course, I’m all about that! (It also didn’t hurt that Leslie promised to make her signature Cosmos.)

The 20 women who joined us enthusiastically embraced the challenge and in two hours of creativity, play and cosmo-infused bravado they produced some amazing life adventures!

The best part of all was to see Leslie, beaming, proudly waving her robust list in the air. Mission accomplished.

I wrote my own list that night and no sooner had those dreams hit the paper, the opportunities began showing up all around me. (Life rocks that way.)

Are you ready to build your bucket list?

I’ve got 2 ways for you to do it.

1) Read this week’s article (below), grab an hour for yourself and build that list!

OR

2) Join me and the Life Makers Mastermind For The Bucket List Party on Wednesday August 11 at 12:00-1:00 EST and we will build your list together. SIGN ME UP

Making it happen,

Joelle

Building the Bucket List

1) You Name It

Let’s face it. The term “Bucket List” is, at best, a little uninspired and, at worst, downright morbid. When I hear “Bucket List” I immediately generate images of crotchety old men and even the phrase “kick the bucket” seems a crass and insensitive term for the end of a life.  Step 1 is to name your list something that excites and moves you.

Perhaps it will be your “Extraordinary life list” or “My Top 100 “or “Living life to the fullest”. Your list, you name it.

2) Dare To Be Bold

To make a juicy list worthy of your life, you will want to come at this with an open mind, flexibility and a willingness to be bold.

As ideas come to you, don’t label, judge or doubt them. If you want to do it, write it down.

Dare to be risky and think big. Write down stuff that excites you and simultaneously scares the heck out of you, and you have the beginnings of a list that will change your life!

2) Don’t Worry About The “How”

Now is not the time to worry about how you are going to make your list happen.  Trying to figure it out is only going to block your creative flow, so skip it.

It is not your job to know, you have a whole lifetime to figure that out and you cannot imagine what will transpire between now and then to bring the items on your list into being.

I would go so far as to say that if you only put down things that you already know how to do, the things you are certain you can make happen, then you are missing the point and robbing yourself of a real opportunity to add juice to your life.

 
3) Embrace Your Awesomeness

Enough prep, it’s time to get those juices flowing.

On a blank piece of paper write down 3-5 amazing things that you have already accomplished, seen or experienced in your life.  These are things that, had you made a bucket list in 2nd grade, they would have made the list.

It may be:
 

- finding the love of your life

- Going to Disney World

- Having a baby

- Seeing the great wall of china

- Parasailing

One of mine was definitely the up close and personal moment with two Killer whales in British Columbia last summer. (We were in Kayaks, they were within 15 feet of us, it was AMAZING!)

4) Let it All Out:

Now you have an inkling of your capacity to do amazing things, it is time to start coming up with items for your list. You likely already have ideas mulling around in your head, those long seeded dreams, that trip through the Australian outback by camel, that shiny red Corvette that has been calling to you since you were seven. Write anything that comes up. 

Remember: Your bucket list is not just for exotic travel locations or bungee jumping, it is the list for everything that you want to become, experience and create in your life.

Just let it all out. Get to it!

5) Engage in A little Mind Expansion

Question: How many of you think I can turn a drinking glass into a convertible BMW?

When I asked this question at the bucket list party I did not get too many votes of confidence (ouch!)

So I went on to tell the story of a remarkable young man I interview the other week who turned a novelty red paperclip into…. Get this…. A HOUSE!

Yep! Kyle McDonald began his adventure with one red paperclip on July 12, 2005 and 14 trades and one year later, on July 12, 2006 he got a house in Kipling, Saskatchewan!

Kyle’s story is remarkable while at the same time it is something that anyone with a big idea, passion and gumption can do.

I share this with you to open you up to allowing yourself to write down what you really want, even if it is bizarre or seemingly impossible. 

The airplane would not exist if the Wright brothers hadn’t wanted so desperately to fly.  What do you want desperately? What do you want to experience? What of this world do you want to see?

Write it on your list!

6) Get Your Google On!

To beautifully round out your list it is time to get your "Google on!" or Yahoo or whatever your search engine of choice might be.  Pull up a web browser and try searching for some of these:

“Bucket List Ideas”
“100 things to do before you die”
“Top 100 travel destinations”

Get creative…

You like personal development? Google that.
You like sports and athletics? Google that. 
You like quilting? Google that.

An intimate hour with you and your Google search and you are certain to have enough items on your list to keep you vibrant and adventuring for a lifetime.

Final thoughts:

When my husband turned 40 he wrote a list of things he would do before he was 50. It was a short list that included things like the bachelor party he never had, scuba diving and “lots more whales and dolphins”.  A little background on Jeff – when we went on our honeymoon 3 years ago he abandoned his snorkel buddy (me) because he was just not all right “swimming through the shark’s living room” as he so creatively put it.

I share this with you because less than a year later, while I was facilitating this bucket list party, not only was Jeff out on a boat with “lots more dolphins” but he actually got into the “shark’s living room!!” Repeatedly!

He dove no less than 6 times, two of which were open sea shark dives (you heard me, no cage, scuba diving with sharks!)  To top it all off, while he was there checking off items from his list he was invited on a trip to swim with humpback whales in the Dominican Republic!  And if you look at item #2 on my list below ( I call dibs on manifesting that one!) you know I will be joining him.

You write it down and the universe starts delivering.

It’s time to start writing!!

Join Joelle and the Life Makers Mastermind for a facilitated Bucket List Experience Wednesday August 11, 2010 12:00-1:00 Eastern by phone.  SIGN ME UP!

With Love,

Joelle

My Kick-Butt Amazing Life List

1. See a blue whale
2. See humpbacks breach
3. See humpbacks bubble net
4. Buy my dream house on the lake/ocean
5. Experience my 50th wedding anniversary and be more in love that I am today
6. Understand the very nature of life
7. Have a 10 year wedding celebration/vow renewal that is magical, beautiful, moving and transformative
8. Do a wine and food tour of Italy
9. Stay for 2 weeks – a month in an Italian Village
10. Write a book that touches lives and makes the world a better place
11. See my husband thoroughly and deeply passionate and fulfilled in his work
12. To see my mom find love again
13. Learn to dance (ballroom, hiphop, whatever) and perform regularly on stage
14. Be part of a fun contemporary “up with people” experience or “glee club”
15. Experience my body strong, lean and radiant
16. Have someone make my clothes
17. Have an out of body experience
18. Compete on The Amazing Race
19. Create inspiring/empowering jewelry (and it be a HUGE hit!)
20. Have a healthy happy baby
21. Dance fabulously with my husband
22. Ride horses regularly
23. Go indoor skydiving
24. Bungee jump
25. Ropes course
26. Go fire walking
27. Experience weightlessness
28. Have a meaningful conversation with Alanis Morissette
29. Go white water rafting
30. Share a ski vacation with Jeff
31. Learn how to sew my own clothes
32. Attend a Tony Robbins event
33. Have an organic garden or participate in a community garden
34. Leave a valuable contribution in your area of personal development and life creation
35. Find  a spiritual community
36. Have an outdoor hot tub
37. Road trip up the west coast of America – 2-4 weeks camping and B & B (some major wine tasting in there)
38. Find a spiritual mentor
39. Attend a TED Talk
40. Speak at a TED talk

And much more to come. Have an idea for my list? Leave it in the comments. I am always up for a new adventure!

P.S. If you happen to know a resource to make anything on this list come true, don’t hesitate to leave a note I appreciate any support the universe will deliver. J

HIYA! Coach Joelle here to report that last week I totally crashed and burned in my integrity experiment.

How could such a thing happen?  You ask… And to a coach?!!!
 

Well,
 

I could explain how after a glass of wine, one scoop of gelato is just not sufficient and how when your mother in law makes blueberry cobbler for brunch you eat it, lots of it.
 

I could justify how work has been so busy and exciting that there was just no time to take 15 minutes to meditate (3 days in a row.) 
 

I could tell you that when your spouse’s alarm wakes you up 2 hours early 2 days in a row it’s no wonder everything else goes to pot!
 

I could tell you that but it is all just excuses and nonsense.
 

Don’t get me wrong, I am not beating myself up or being all mean.   My 30 days of living to my highest ideals was a gift to myself after all, not a punishment.   I even called this undertaking an “experiment” with the intention that I would be learning about what it takes to be in integrity with myself. And so after finding several fascinating ways NOT to live up to my highest ideals, it is time to recommit.
 

An often quoted speech from the “Maliwada Human Development Training School”  defines integrity as:
 

“the singularity of thrust of a life committed and ordering every dimension of the self towards that commitment.”
 

“a destinal resolve – a resolve that chooses and sets your destiny and out of which your whole life is ordered.”

If I look honestly, my “destinal resolve” the last few days has been towards being caught up in the world, being a victim to my cravings, making myself sick on blueberry cobbler and living my life confused, wishy washy and a little grumpy.  Nice.
 

Good to know.  

And so, without further whining, excuses or self flagellation, I will reference my original integrity experiment commitment, for there I have written what I chose as my “singularity of thrust” for my life (or at least for these 30 days.)

Clarity

Connection to source

Health

Fearlessness

Love

Oh yah,  I like that much better.

Today I take notice and I readjust myself back on course to engage these final seven days with new clarity and renewed commitment. 

Deep breath….. own your stuff….. recommit…… do what it takes.
 

With love and renewed integrity.
 

Joelle

Well hello!

It is almost bedtime Sunday night but I needed to touch base to let you know that I will be giving a full update of my Integrity Experiment tomorrow.

It has been quite a ride, complete with a colossal crash and burn Friday that I look forward to sharing with you.

Each day I find myself a little more. 

Each day I get a little clearer about what Integrity is and what it means to live in it. 

Each day, the totally stellar ones and the really rough ones, bring with them lessons and illumination (particularly the rough ones.)

My bed calls to me longingly but I will fill you in tomorrow.

Much love and gentle compassion to you in your own walk with integrity.

Joelle

Hi guys,

I have a treat for you this week.

It is my honor and pleasure to introduce a very special woman, someone who I have come to know and love deeply. She is a bright light in the world and an amazing example of what it looks like when you boldly take on the process of consciously creating life.

Alexandra Jaye Johnson is the creator of www.MyGoddessLife.com, and the Rock Your Goddess Life programs, and is the Chief Community Goddess of CleanProgram.com.

I recently interviewed Alexandra as part of the Make Your Life Interview Series, and her journey to knowledge, optimum health, passionate contribution and great love holds lessons for all of us who are out to live our lives by design.

Find a comfy spot, grab a smoothie and join me as I speak with the Chief Goddess herself!

XO

Joelle

Make Your Life Interview with Chief Goddess, Alexandra Jaye Johnson

Alexandra Jaye Johnson is a Goddess. She is the creator of www.MyGoddessLife.com, the Rock Your Goddess Life programs and the Chief Community Goddess of CleanProgram.com. She is a passionate student, a lover of life and she will tell you that she is full of love, laughter, divinity, & yummy food!  Listen as she shares how you can get your goddess on! 

    DoDDownload and Listen Now!    

Download instructions: To listen, right click on the link above and select "Save Target As." Pick a folder to save your audio into.  Once the audio is saved to your hard drive you can upload it to your iPod or listen to it on your computer at your leisure. Note: Due to the file size, downloading may take a few moments. Deep breath… exhale… smile… ok, it will be there any moment now  ;-)

Hi guys!

I didn’t want to close out the week without an update and a little inspiration to keep you going or gently nudge you into getting started on your integrity experiment.
 

Already, worlds are changing for the better as people take on living as their highest selves.

• In Canada, a single mom followed her heart, declined a late night bootie call and learned something meaningful about her own value.

• In LA, the roads are a little safer through one woman’s commitment to only use her cell phone hands free.

• In Australia, a coach is living louder, raising his spiritual connection and walking his talk.

• And in Atlanta, a child is getting daily quality time with her mom.
 

AWESOME and wow!
 

As for me, this new level of intentional living has resulted in:

1 lb lost (never to be found again)
 

56$ saved in Starbucks decaf-soy cappuccino’s that I did not drink,
 

Mediation for more days strait than I can remember,
 

New learning that dark subject-matter in entertainment leads to darkness in the subconscious (violent movie = violent dreams. No thanks!)
 

Discovery of the importance of having 1 night a week responsibility-free (including free from making dinner or conversation) and a system to make it happen,
 

Reclamation of 2-3 extra hours of sleep nightly and progress towards being a well-rested woman,
 

Consultation with an applied kinesiology chiropractor and an energy worker to move my health forward and raised my body temperature from 96.5 to 97.5 degrees (WOO to the HOO!),
 

Compassionate, cathartic and intuitive conversation with my dear friend Jennifer which has already proved transformative,
 

Reaping the rewards in my marriage in more ways than I can count….
 

And it is only day 14!
 

With 16 more to go, will you join me? Learn more.

Whether you choose to live to your highest ideals for 1 day or all 16, the resultant intention, focus and thoughtful action will propel you forward, provide insight and guide you toward living the life you have imagined.
 

Jump on in! Read how you can get started here and be sure to keep me posted.
 

To your life!
 

Joelle

Hello!

I’ll tell you, my integrity experiment has provided some interesting insights so far. 
 

This weekend I discovered that to be my "best self" I need to sleep more, take time to do nothing, plan for alone time and probably get a second TV.

With my husband on a sailing adventure, swimming with wild dolphins in the Bahamas, it has been a perfect time for me to get in touch with what will best serve my experience of life.
 

Left to myself with all the time in the world, I flowed through my days satisfying the needs that presented themselves; from working out, eating and sleeping to movie-watching and shopping.
 

Thursday evening marked the first hours of total “Joelle Time”. I was called to 6:30 core training at the gym and then hit the mall until they kicked me out. Uninspired by the prospect of cooking, it was off to the patio at Chipotle for a delicious black bean salad and a twilight phone-chat with Jeff as he excitedly shared the events of the first day of his trip. Perfection.
 

After a couple of full days that included work, a wedding and a rocking "Bucket List" facilitation, Sunday was my next totally free day.  I started with an invigorating morning run and then retired to the couch, giddy with the prospect of total television domination! There would be no “Meet the Press” this Sunday, oh no! It was going to be all chick flicks all the time!
 

I grabbed some Teavanna “spice of life” tea with frothed almond milk, put on my sweats, hunkered down with a pillow, blanket, and a cat in my lap and went on to watch no less than 3 movies! 
 

As the hours passed one pure thought kept rising to the surface.  I was repeatedly struck by how completely and blissfully happy I was curled up on the couch, with no commitments, being entertained without a thought of productivity in my head.
 

By 6:00, replete with my movie marathon, I was moved to tidy up and make dinner (free range turkey burgers and a fresh vegetable salad made up of produce from our organic CSA.)
 

At 9:00 I went out to the deck to meditate, candles lit, aromatherapy on hand, another cat in my lap, wind in the trees and a red sky in the west. 
 

As I sat there in the flickering light I felt more connected, more happy and more grateful than I had felt in a very long time. 
 

I realized anew that the path to enlightenment or inner peace or whatever you want to call it is not necessarily found through activity, intense thought or spiritual reading.
 

This weekend illuminated for me that, much like Maslow’s Hierarchy, I need freedom of time, space to explore, and mental and physical rest to be able to fully get present, connect and engage. 
 

As you take on your Integrity Experiment, give yourself permission and space to get in touch with what will feed and nourish you, what will make you happy and what needs are begging to be met.
 

With love,

Joelle 

Well hello!

As you’ll recall, last week I defined the parameters of my highest ideals and began zealously embodying them in “The Integrity Experiment” (read all about it -you are very welcome to play along.)

As I put the finishing touches on my 30 day plan for exceptional living and got ready to execute, I wondered what joyous activity I would be inspired to undertake first?!

Would I be called to express my creativity with paint and canvas?

Was I in for a quiet afternoon with the enlightening works of Eckhart Tolle and Ken Wilbur?

Perhaps it would be meditation in the park!

In a flash of illumination I saw the path! I knew exactly what I needed to do.

Shockingly, the work to be done was not in any way related to philosophizing or pondering the wonders of the universe. (Whah?!)

Nope. My “highest-self” had much more humble plans for my first day on the job.

Get Your "Order" On

The message came loud and clear … “Don’t even think of getting all up in your “highest-self” without cleaning up your mess! “

And so, the first brilliant shining actions I took inside of my Integrity Experiment included sweeping up the cat-hair tumbleweeds that had formed on the hardwood floor (I can just hear the collective gasp!), folding and putting away the laundry, tidying the kitchen and unpacking the suitcase that had remained on the floor after my Canadian adventures.

I organized my desk, fluffed the pillows, and watched as a clean visual picture replaced the previous disorder. 

With the taming of our space, calm came over me and my mind found new focus.

More than “house work”, these tasks were sacred and necessary, clearing room for what lay ahead.

The Invitation:

Whether you subscribe to the principles of Feng Shui or think of it more as an internal checklist that will not fully relinquish your mind until the papers are filed and the plants watered; the need for order is paramount for those who are out to consciously create their lives.

No doubt as you read this, the places of disarray in your life are rearing their messy heads, poking at you and demanding your attention. 

Whether they are…

Files waiting to be purged,

Papers ready to be filed,

Carpets longing for the caress of the vacuum,

Desks to be cleared,

Closets to be organized,  

Shelves to be dusted,

Socks seeking their perfect match,

Or crowded rooms asking to be transformed into spaces for creativity, play or rest;

Whether it’s as simple as a 15 minute “tidy”,

Or as robust as a 20-DAY DE-CLUTTERING EXTRAVAGANZA!!!

You alone know what it will take to get you grounded, clear-headed, satisfied and freed-up to create.

So do your life a favor and get to it!

XO

Joelle

Sleeeep!!! I need Sleep!!

Ok that’s it.  My 7 hours of sleep are non-negotiable.  Well, actually the whole list is non-negotiable for the next 30 days but somehow I figured that losing sleep to get up for meditation was somehow a noble cause. It’s not.

I recouped today by grabbing an hour after the gym in the AM and then slept from 5-8 pm before I helped Jeff pack for his big sailing adventure with ocean conservationist Hardy Jones where they will swim with wild dolphins in the caribbean.
 

With Jeff away on a ship, while I will miss him, it will give me the freedom to 100% choose my schedule without having to consider anyone else.  I figure a week of experimenting on my own will then prepare me to have practice keeping this commitment when my sweet husband returns.
 

Sleep is going to happen.  All 7 hours of it every night.

You are welcome to ask me my sleep number anytime between July 16th and August 8th and the answer will be 7 or more.
 

Taking it on!
 

Joelle

You are welcome to join me!  Create your own integrity experiment and join me as we live to our highest ideals!
 

Hey there!

It's day four of my Integrity experiment and I’m liking what I’m seeing. 

I can already tell that my workouts are more intense and I even feel stronger and thinner (could be a head thing but I really feel it!)
 

My daily meditation, which is one of the most essential aspects of my experiment is already proving fruitful.  I have been consistent, even getting up before our already very early trips to the gym, and low and behold I am actually receiving guidance in the form of inspired action!

One of those inspired actions is to find an energy practice (spiritual practice.)  This is not the first time I have had this idea but as part of my experiment I am committing to finding a mentor in this area in the next 26 days (ohhhh, the pressure is on now!)

Below I have also included parameters around some of the more obvious pieces of my experiment.  I figured I would get them out into the world as it will support me in being accountable. If you happen to see me out and about blatantly violating any of the below in the next 30 days, you are welcome to call me on it.

So far, I haven’t been perfect, and that’s ok.

I am realizing that getting my 7 hours of sleep with a 5 am wakeup is going to take some extra figuring. And the lovely 0 calorie, no aspartame sparkling green tea from Whole Foods that Jeff discovered, while it meets my requirements,  invariably causes me to want to take a nap. That’s not going to cut it.

There are many moments of integrity to govern that are not related to any of the items listed below.  In those moments I have been checking my thinking and behavior to my original vision or asking the simple question “Is this in alignment with my highest self?”  Based on the answer I make the next choice.

One foot in front of the other I am climbing a ladder to my highest self.  It’s not all sparkle and wonder but it feels solid and true.
 

With love,

Joelle

Practices

1) SLEEP -7 hours  (usually means bed by 9 or 9:30)

2) Meditate Daily 15 – 30 minutes

3) Journal Daily (about the process)

4) Write 5 days a week (priority)

Body/Food

5) No soy (messes with hormones, GMO, bad for thyroid.

6) No caffeine (green tea ok)
 

7) No Soda/ no aspartame
 

8) Decaf – no more than once a week.   Process toxic. Not real food.
 

9) Alcohol -  Wine or hearty beer – max 3 per week max 2 per night never to experiencing physical effects.
 

10) 2 -80 cal servings sweets a week – has to be worth it – good stuff not junk – still in alignment with highest self
 

11) Only happy meat and dairy
 

12) 3 fruit min
 

13) 4 serv green veg min

Movement

1.  Cario 5X
 

2.  Core X2
 

3.  Weights X3
 
 

Hmmmm,

As I walk through the moments of my Integrity Experiment I have come upon an interesting thought.
 

I am taking on operating in a heightened state of integrity with the intention of living as my highest-self.
 

Only a few days in I am up against an interesting distinction; the difference  between "not violating my integrity" and "living to my highest-self".
 

For instance;

I have chosen not to drink decaf coffee as part of my experiment because I have read that the decaffeination process is toxic. As a result I made some new beverage choices. Yesterday I made frothed almond milk and Teeccino (a coffee substitute made or roasted nuts and grains.)  It was tasty and satisfying but was it a choice my “highest self” would make? 

I think my highest self would have had water and skipped the tasty cup of comfort.  So while it was not out of integrity (it did not violate the agreements I made to myself and was a healthy choice) it was also not what my highest self would do or at least my idea of my highest self.

An interesting insight on my path.  Not sure what to do with it. For now, I will drink my happy drink when I am moved to and continue to live the questions.

Any thoughts? Comments? Insights?  Would love to hear from you.

XO

Joelle
 

Good morning,

As I reflect on the events of the weekend It has been an interesting start to my experiment.
 

When I think of living as my highest self, in many ways it has an ethereal element, vibrating with clean, high energy food, meditating, taking action from a pure flow state to cause in life.  The thing is, that on a weekend, it’s not all sitting around staring at my navel and contemplating my higher self. 

On a weekend, my husband is home and we go to the gym together which usually takes 3-4 hours each day.  We run errands and have social commitments.   Hence, I was challenged to live my bliss during “core training” class, cleaning the house and attending a beer-tasting birthday gathering. 

This weekend illuminated the opportunity (a.k.a. room to grow) for me to find spirit in the mundane and to find connection at cocktail parties.  I noticed myself wanting to get through what I was doing so I could get to being my highest self! But that’s not the game I set out to play.

It is easy to feel zen-like on a yoga mat in a candle lit room, it is another to be that shopping for paper towels.

I have a knowing that all of life can be a conscious and spiritual practice, I have had times where I have lived it. That is what these 30 days are about, renewing my connection to that way of life and finding what it takes to operate there.

By taking on the practice of reading my Integrity experiment commitment at the beginning of each day I am setting myself up to be able to hold the intention and act accordingly.  By reviewing and journaling about my commitment as I prepare for bed I am able to notice where there is an opportunity to live into my intention more fully in the days to come.

As you are taking on your own Integrity Experiment (if you are not yet and want to join me you can read all about it here) remember that this is a process.  If you ate more than you said you would, make a note of it, write about what was going on with you that you made that choice, set up systems that will support you in eating in alignment next time(food journal, measure portions etc.)  and get back on that horse!  That’s how you make a real and lasting difference in your life. And believe me, YOU CAN, no matter what it is that you want to create or change.

Despite my myriad weekend commitments, I lived well.  I got inspired by my Philosophers Notes on the treadmill, I grabbed 15 minutes in a quiet studio to meditate while Jeff finished up his workout, I made salads, washed veggies for juicing and boiled eggs to prepare for the week, made a trip to Teavanna for a yummy, wholesome alternative to my decaf coffee, I journaled every day, did yoga by candlelight and made out with my husband in the car like a teenager.

All in all, a pretty darn good start.  As the work week begins I am excited to see what my experiment will bring.

Love to you!
 

Joelle

The Integrity Experiment: Day 1

What a huge day.  Jeff and I got up, spent 3 hours at the gym, ran errands and were off to a gathering. It’s 10:30 PM and it is the first time to myself I have had since I woke up.  It just goes to show that when it comes to living your ideals you need to put aside the time to get in touch with what those ideals are or you life will just sweep you away.  Good thing I put a chunk of time aside yesterday so that I could get a head start on my process.

As the document below revealed itself I got very clear that I need to read it at the start of every day, likely multiple times a day to keep my eye on the ball.

It feels good. As I wrote and as I read what I wrote it makes me sit a little taller, my head clears and a gentle smile comes to my face.  This is the template for a peaceful, powerful, balanced, healthy, spiritually-connected me.

Here we go.

I am writing to determine the parameters of My integrity experiment.  As I write I can feel the tension building.  It is the tension that is pulling me into my greatest self.  I feel a little nervous and excited all at the same time.  I am also really glad that I am sharing this with you as it ups the ante and makes me accountable (see step 3 from the Highest Ideals article.) 
 

In addition I will be documenting my experience daily and commit to blogging about it at least once a week (though I anticipate it will be more.)

So here is what living as my highest self looks like:

I am grounded, passionate and energized, operating from a highly present state.  Whether I am writing, coaching, hanging with friends, or sharing a meal with my husband I attend to the moment with a combination of energy, interest, and readiness or a solid and peaceful centeredness depending on what the occasion calls for.

I am interested and engaged in life.

When I do something – I do it all the way – full out.  No going to the gym and going through the motions.  If I am there I am intentional and focused. When my husband speaks I stop and listen intently.  When I write, I relish the writing and do not get called away by the siren song of “You’ve got mail”.

I live each moment in the full knowing that “I can” and I can BRILLIANTLY at that, even and especially the things that have been barriers in the past. Now is the time to move through those old beliefs with pure thought, passion, knowing and committed action.

I feel love. Love and appreciation for the people in my day whether they are friends, family, clients or strangers.  I see things to appreciate and things of interest all around me.

(As I write there is a static-y pressure around my head and a heighted feeling of alertness – I think I am onto something.)

Emotionally, I am calm. When pressure is on or I feel annoyance or frustration I notice it and dissipate it as it is not my optimal state and does not support me being who I choose to be.

Regarding my food, I choose to consume what is in alignment with clarity, connection to source and overall health. I choose at this time for there to be a place for the occasional glass of wine or a solid hearty beer.  I am not yet ready to believe that my best self would never have a glass of wine.  Exploring this will be a part of my experiment.

I move and work my body to a strong lean vessel that I am proud to wear.  I take action in my body to take it to a state of optimal health and freedom.

I take purposeful new action to raise my body temperature and metabolism for optimum health, energy, vitality and baby-making

I take bold and decisive action to bring the new iteration of the Coach Joelle Website into being through completing the copy writing, working harmoniously and purposefully with Jeff and the team and getting scintillating new pictures taken.

I meditate. Daily. I know this is key for alignment and flow. I choose it.

I am without fear. I self express lovingly and clearly.

I believe and allow.

I do it.

Life is electric. I live in and experience the energy of the world and source.

I live in the light and the love.

(Whoa! I can totally feel the power of what I have written. It rings true inside of me and I feel totally inspired.)

I’m ready.   It begins NOW.

Love it!
 

Now, it’s your turn.  What would living as your highest self look like?  Can you define it? If you define it do you dare to take it on? If you want to play go ahead and read about the Integrity Experiment and create your own 30 day journey to who you can be.  Be sure to let me know what you are up to and I will continue to keep you posted on my adventure.

Good stuff!  Good night.
 

Joelle

HI guys!

Last week was full of milestones.  Not only did I turn 38 but I also had the opportunity to complete two decades as a full-on contributing “adult” by attending my 20 year high school reunion. 

Facing the people from high school was in many ways a last frontier for me.  I think I turned out pretty well and at some point it seemed important that those people who knew me back then get to see who I had become.

How refreshing to find that when the moment of truth came I realized that I had nothing to prove.

I enjoyed people and we shared our stories but I did not feel the need to be witty, interesting, or the life of the party.

There were no airs to put on and no one to impress.  When I was tired I left early for bed (YUM!) and when I needed solitude I did not hesitate to leave the fray for the comfort of a book (DOUBLE YUM!)

The young woman who was once so desperate for attention and approval is no more.  In her place stands a person I could not have imagined back in 1990. 
With external standards no longer binding me, the only standard that matters is my own and of course those standards will determine the height, depth and quality of my life.

And so, for my 38th birthday I am giving myself 30 days of living to my highest ideals. I will live it, document it and at the end of 30 days see where it takes me. 

Will I feel more enlightened? Vibrant? Accomplished?

Will my marriage reach new levels of bliss?

Will I lose that last 5 lbs?

Who knows? But what I do know is that I am going hard core for 30 days and then and only then can I make a new choice.

Care to join me?

This week’s article guides you through the process of identifying, choosing, and sticking to your own highest ideals through something I am calling The Integrity Experiment.

Enjoy!

Joelle

“When you reach for the stars you may not quite get one, but you won't come up with a handful of mud either.” Leo Burnett

Living to your highest ideals: The Integrity Experiment

What would your life be like if you spent it living up to your highest ideals?

What would become possible?

What are those ideals?

Perhaps you aspire to living with compassion or acting courageously.  Maybe your best self would go heavy on the greens and give up the caffeine.  Do you aspire to becoming a non-smoker or making yourself available for quality time with your children?

When I think about living to my ideals it means living into and acting in accordance with the highest version of myself; physically, spiritually, mentally, relationally and professionally and reaping the rewards in my life. 

What’s not to love about that?!

Why would we do anything else?

Hmmmm … How about comfort, laziness, fear, discouragement, being too busy and lots of other really great reasons with which we are all too familiar.

Let’s face it, sometimes that chocolate bar looks so goooood and sometimes that extra couple hours of sleep is so much more appealing that heading off to the gym in the dark.  Can you relate?

Often our reasons for not being our best selves are disguised as the “noble option”.  We skip lunch to meet with that new client or stay up extra late to deal with things that seem pressing and urgent.

Whatever our excuses, no matter how valid, every time we consciously or unconsciously choose to violate our own standards we are making a statement to ourselves and the world about our priorities. 

Would it surprise you to recognize that you have made work a priority over your family or smoking a priority over your living a long healthy life? What if I pointed out that your desire for that fabulous new blouse or your daily $4 latte wins priority over financial stability or the ability to retire?

When we get down to it, every time we act out of alignment with our standards we are in effect telling ourselves it is ok to go half way. It is ok to not go after what I want fully. It is ok to wimp out on myself and follow my values only part of the time.

Every time we lie to ourselves and every time we bend our own rules we whittle down a little piece of our strength and our faith in our own ability. We weaken our word and in doing so we are creating a watered down version of what our life could be and pushing out the arrival date of our visions and dreams.

Ouch.

So that’s the downside of not living up to our ideals but the good news is, the upside of being our best self is nothing short of miraculous.

The world lines up at your door when you line yourself up with what is right and true for you.( Note, I said right and true for YOU, not for anyone else – the only standards to consider here are your own.)

In the coaching world we call this alignment “integrity”.

When you operate with integrity, life works, serendipities abound and you achieve a new level of freedom and flow.

For my birthday I am saying Sign Me Up for more of that!  And that is why I am giving myself the exceptional gift of consciously living to my highest ideals for the next 30 days, even when it is uncomfortable, unpopular and annoying.

I will be documenting my experiences, how it feels to live this life and whether it makes the difference I imagine or not.

I won’t kid you, this may not pretty.  In fact, I am already a little terrified of putting it all on the line for 30 days but I know that a great prize waits on the other side of my resistance.

I am calling it The Integrity Experiment and you can play too.

The invitation:

Join me in your own integrity experiment. 

1. Define Your Ideals

Set aside 30 minutes today to write about your highest ideals. 

What do you value? What would raise your quality of life? What are the things you know you need to make time for but have not?

What are the thoughts you want to nurture and practice on a daily basis?

What version of you do you want to be?

What are the things that you know you have been doing part way?  What would “all the way” look like?

What are the things that have been hanging around, dragging you down and limiting your life that you would like to clean up?

2. Make a commitment

It’s one thing to write it all down but another thing entirely to commit.

Take a look at what you wrote and see if you are ready to take on the whole enchilada or a part of it.

Give yourself a timeframe. Will your integrity experiment be for a day, a week, a month, six months?  Whatever you commit to, do it fully and honestly.

Don’t set yourself up for failure with unrealistic expectations but be sure to take on the things that are really important for you, that are worthy of your time and that will raise you in your own estimation of yourself.

3. Create a system of accountability. 

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO DO THIS ALONE.  Seriously, left to ourselves it is way too easy to try it for a day or two and give up on ourselves. By sharing your commitment with someone else you are building in an essential support system for your integrity experiment.

If you have a spouse or partner, ask them to hold you accountable. If you have a blog, say you are going to blog about it and then blog about it. If you have a friend who will share your journey, invite them to make their own commitment and give each other permission to challenge and support.

4. Plan it out

Be sure to take the time to plan where necessary to support your success.

Some things you commit to may require a reshuffling of your schedule –  like daily meditation – you already have a full and busy life so where do you fit that extra 30 minutes?

Others may require a prolonged process  and would be served by an action plan -like a comprehensive smoking cessation plan or a plan to grow your capacity for optimism over time.

5. Record Your Experience

Every day, possibly multiple times a day, record what you are experiencing.

Celebrate where you have made choices in alignment with your ideals, notice where have you given in or gone half way or where you outright chose to break your commitment.  All is valuable in your process. 

Notice where your current life circumstances and present choices stand in the way of you operating in integrity with your commitment and then without making yourself wrong, or beating yourself up, ask how you can adjust, learn and move forward. 

6. Remember It’s a Process

If you think you are going to launch out the gate with a 3 page document detailing your highest self and never ever falter, you may be in for a harsh awakening. 

This is a process.  In making your commitment you will learn about what it really takes to live that commitment.  Sometimes what it takes is far more than we imagined. 

You will stumble, you will resist and sometimes your best will not be good enough.  Your setbacks are not a sign to quit – it is simply time grab on tightly to your commitment and seek out additional information, different resources or greater support. 

Whether you envision your best self as a non-smoker, a parent who is around to make a difference in the lives of your children, or someone who acts courageously in spite of fear, remember that if it is a worthy ideal for you then some way, somehow you can live it.

Use Your Coach

I encourage you to take on your own integrity experiment and if you do, let me know.  Send me an email or comment on the blog below and I will check in on you. 

Be sure to share what you are committing to, why it will matter for you, the length of your experiment (3 days, 1 week , a month?) and who in your life will be supporting you and providing accountability (besides me.)

Along the way, if you find yourself in a difficult spot or at an impasse, post a comment here and I’ll give you what I’ve got to get you back on that horse and moving forward.

You can read all about my personal 30 day declaration right here tomorrow.  (Eeek!) 

Alright! We are off to the races. 

Bring It!

Joelle

Hi guys!

Last week we explored a powerful model that was instrumental in illuminating some of my personal stumbling blocks on my way to love.  If you recall, I was shocked to find that all my broken relationships were not the fault of the myriad men I had dated but, in fact, were due to my own insecurities and fears. 

Fortunately SEE BE DO GET came to the rescue showing me the error of my thinking and illuminating how a new point of view can turn everything around.

If you are joining us part way through the story you can get caught up by reading Part One here.

As our saga continues, you will learn how I found my way out of romantic self-sabotage and into a whole new world of men and dating (a Mecca of Men in fact!)

As you hear my tale remember, this model works in any life situation, not just for those who are amorously clueless, so consider as you are reading how you could use this model to chart a course to something bright shiny and new for you.

See what happens next as I do away with desperation and own my capacity to find great love without compromise.

Enjoy!
 

Joelle

SEE BE DO GET And The Mecca of Men Part 2

Here's where we left off. 

If you recall… my thoughts of being geeky and undesirable were affecting my confidence and having me show up small.  I was compromising myself, afraid to go after what I really wanted and I was leaving a wake of broken relationships and hurting partners in my path. 

Not to mention, this behavior was getting me no closer to finding lasting, hang-out-on-the-porch-holding-hands-when-you’re-90 love.

It was time to get over myself and get on with the lovin’.  So I took the SEE BE DO GET model, began at the end and started working backwards.

Here’s how it went.

SEE BE DO GET – Reverse Engineering

I didn’t like the results I was producing in my relationships so it was time to step back, start with the end in mind…and ask, what DID I want to get?

GET – What do you want to GET? (Your outcome or end result)

What I wanted to GET was a delightful life partner who cherished me. I wanted to find the man or better yet, be found by the man who would light my eyes up and make my heart sing.  I wanted the guy who matched "My list” (and oh yes, I had a list). I had a BIG LIST but it just isn’t much use when you toss the list in the trash on the first date!

DO – What could you DO? (Your action or inaction.)

We will come back to the DOING in a minute.

BE  – How would you need to BE? (i.e. "be happy" "be sad" "be passionate")

If I wanted to get my result, how did I need to BE? What ways of BEing would make my result possible – because being shut down, shy and desperate wasn't it!

Here is what I came up with:

Being: Loving, Open, Courageous, Comfortable, and Out There (all me all the time)

Ah, that’s more like it!

Next!

SEE – Your new point of view or perspective (Your Perception or view of the world.)

Which leads us to the question….what perspective or what point of view would support me in "Being Open, Loving, Courageous, Comfortable and Out There?"

Well, I thought about it. Clearly, if I was going to find a man that matched my list I was going to have to believe that:

A) He was out there and 

B) He would actually want to date me.

I thought about it a bit and I came up with a pretty bold new perspective (SEE) that I chose to take on.

Are you ready for it? It’s a doozy!

(Drum roll please.)

"ARIZONA IS A MECCA OF MEN WAITING TO ASK ME OUT!"

Yep, that's it.

Now remember! I am not saying this was the truth – who knows what the truth was?  What I do know is that this was a much more empowering thought to take me out in the world of dating from a position of strength.

This thought gave me hope and confidence.

There was an abundance of men and they were waiting for me. Bring it on!
 

So now I want to bring you back to that DO we left empty.

DO

Through my reverse engineering project, I had a new point of view, a new way to SEE the world and I had a new way of BEING (Loving, Open, Courageous, Comfortable) and suddenly, I had a whole new world of action and DOing available to me! 

For instance…

If I saw a man I was attracted to, I could actually look him in the eye, and more than that, I could go up to him and talk to him and if I was moved to do so I could even, (gasp!) ask him out! 

Suddenly, I was smiling, and talking and meeting men everywhere and it was easy! I felt good about myself because I was no longer afraid of them running screaming from the “geek”!  From my new point of view, they had, after all, been waiting for me to show up so I had nothing to fear.

I was even feeling so brazen that one day I was sitting in Starbucks and I had the revelation that I could walk into any coffee shop and walk out with a date!

Wow! What a concept, hanging out on a Tuesday, sipping my Grande decaf soy cappuccino,  doing a little work and I could get a date! Wild Stuff!

And then I took it a step further.

I realized that even if there were no eligible men in the in the vicinity, with my new attitude, I could walk up to a happy-looking couple and say,

"Hi! My name is Joelle and I noticed you guys seem really happy.   I am looking for an incredible guy so that I can have a loving long-term relationship and I was wondering if you have anyone in your life that I just HAVE to meet? Oh and by the way, here’s my list."

Now, I never actually did say this but I realized that I could have if needed and that’s what counts.

So what did all these bold actions, empowering thoughts and new ways of being do for me?  

Well for starters I was asked on 5 dates in the first week (and this from a girl who previously didn't know how to date – I just knew how to get committed) and over the next 12 months I came to feel comfortable in my skin.

I learned to love and appreciate myself and I had the courage to hold out for my list.

I was truly ready to meet someone wonderful who made my heart swell and who cherished and loved me deeply.

And then….. I married him.

The Invitation:

Your turn! What do you want? Really!

Now, GET DO BE SEE your way into a new point of view that will support you in having it.

1) GET: Start with your new result.  What do you want to GET.

Skip over DO until the end.

2)  BE:  Ask yourself “How would I need to BE to even have a chance of getting that result?”

You will find that it is often diametrically opposed to how you were BEing around the situation previously and this clarity often brings with it a major Ah Ha! It certainly did for me in the story above.

3) SEE: Ask yourself “What new thought, point of view or perspective would naturally allow me to BE the way that I have chosen to BE?”

This can take some work. I was able to go big declaring the world a MECCA OF MEN and me as highly sought after – I was feeling pretty bold that day – but for you it might be something more subtle like “There is someone for me, we are destined to find each other and that special person will love me exactly as I am.” Either would work so just find a thought that actually lines up with what you want instead of opposing/repelling it.

4) DO: Finally, with your new point of view and your new way of BEing, you can identify the new and sometimes previously unimaginable action available to produce your result.

I love this model.  It changed my life and I watch it work miracles with my clients everyday (no joke.) 

Use it, practice it.

Create your own Mecca of men, abundance of opportunity, bounty of boldness or plethora of possibilities and allow your new point of view to work its magic in your world.

With Love,

Joelle

Have you ever changed your point of view and it changed your whole life? Leave a comment below and share the inspiration.

Hi Guys!

If we’ve known each other for awhile, you no doubt have heard me expound the virtues of SEE BE DO GET, a simple but mind-blowingly effective model that can be used for everything from growing your income to getting along with your mother-in-law.

When I first began practicing this model 7 years ago it did remarkable things for my mindset, removing my negative and disempowered thinking and replacing it with optimism and a crystal focus on what I wanted from life.

Through the practiced use of this model I began to see life forming according to my vision, new success and accomplishments abounded and my daily life began to take on a much more peaceful, happy and joyful tone.

This week I have illustrated this impactful model through part 1 of a 2 part saga called the “MECCA OF MEN” Story, a detailed account of my own quest to overcome the self-defeating thoughts that thwarted me on the path to finding love. 

Enjoy reading about my journey through the jungles of my own mental mess and get this model creating magic in your life.

With love,

Joelle

 P.S. If you want to hear more about the MECCA OF MEN and other powerful tools to access the magic in your life, check out my new CD An Introduction To Passionate Powerful Living.  It is an awesome launching tool to begin creating life you love.

SEE BE DO GET And The Mecca of Men

The Wake Up Call

Sometimes life just grabs you by the neck and says “WAKE UP! This isn’t working!”

These inevitable reality checks are not always welcome in the moment but at the end of the day I have found they are essential to living a good life.

This particular wake-up came through a routine experiment, a journey into new awareness through a common personal development exercise.

The task: to interview peers and friends to gain insight into what kind of person they thought I was.

The first few conversations had gone brilliantly! All good news. Whew!

Not to say I wasn’t open to a healthy dose of constructive feedback, but I would be lying if I said that I wouldn’t have been happy with all A’s. 

Fortunately for me, and for any hope I had for true love, a perfect score was not in the cards. 

Continued from the Livloud! Newsletter

This day there was an important bit of information which needed to be divulged, no matter how brutal; A piece of information that would light a fire under my proverbial romantic butt and shift the course of my life forever.

It started innocently enough. It was cappuccinos and conversation at a nearby Starbucks with a friend.  As we prepared to get down to the business at hand I was interested to hear her words, reflecting back to me the person I had become.

But, like I said, I was in for a bit of a surprise.

We began…

“Deanna, thank you for joining me. As I mentioned on the phone, the intention of this conversation is to gain insight into your personal perspective of me, who I am and what I stand for in the world.”

I shared this in my most open and inviting tone and continued. 

“Please do not hesitate to speak your truth, and know that you will not hurt my feelings. I will not hold anything you say against you so just speak freely.”

She said she understood.  We began.

“Question 1: What do you know about me?”

I waited calmly for her answer, pen in hand, an eager look on my face. And there it was, right out of the gate. 

“Well, one thing that I know about you”

She began casually

“is that you have terrible luck with men.  You have had some major relationship issues!”

I maintained a calm demeanor and willed my heart to stay in my chest as my mind was swept into a frenzy with this latest news flash.  Woah! Ok! Of all the things this woman knew about who I was in the world, the number one thing at the top of the “stuff I know about Joelle list” was that my love life is a debacle?

This is how people see me? Really?! Not that I am a great coach, not that I am a loving friend, not that I had a keen sense of style but that my romantic life was a mess?!!

Joelle Prochera, Life Coach, Speaker, entrepreneur, romantic disaster. Ugh!

It All Comes Down To “Stinkin’ Thinkin’”

Deanna’s candidness set me on a journey to uncover the root of my relationship problems and my tendency towards "serial monogamy" – going from one long term relationship with an unsuitable suitor to the next. 

I didn’t realize it at the time, but despite my intense desire to find and keep that one special guy, my relationships were doomed to fail.

 
You see, I was living with a disempowering, union-trashing perspective that even the most dashing prince charming was powerless against. It seemed I had to first slay my own dragons or suffer a lifetime of mediocre relationships and inevitable breakups.

 
The culprit to all of my relationship woes was a particular unpleasant thought I harbored.

This thought was that “I was a geek" and a "loser" (I would never call anyone else these names, but these are the names that stayed with me), I was not good enough and I was afraid that if I approached some man I really liked that they would look down their nose at me, shout “get away from me you geek!” and go after some hot, cool girl. 

Pretty juvenile, huh? Petty, harsh and unfair, but such is often the case with our untrained minds and our self-defeating beliefs.

If I was going to get past my thinking and get on with finding a the man of my dreams I was going to have to get the true impact of continuing down the mental path I was on.

The SEE BE DO GET model.

Four little words SEE BE DO GET and the problem became quite clear.

Let me elaborate.

The basic premise of the SEE BE DO GET Model is that your thoughts or perspective (SEE) shape your feelings (BE) and action (DO) to produce a result (GET) in alignment with it. 

With this in mind it was suddenly no mystery why my relationships were not working out.

 
Let's take a look at what was going on:

SEE – what you SEE (Your Perception or view of the world)

My perception or my particular view of things was that I was a geek and not cool enough and anyone I would want to date would not want to date me.

Also, I saw dateable men as a little dangerous. They could "reject" me.  If I took the risk of going after these “dangerous” men I would give them the power to prove that I was truly "not good enough" should they choose not to date me.

BE – your way of being ("be happy" "be sad" "be passionate")

This concern and insecurity lead me to BE hesitant, a little shy, awkward and desperate (yes, completely and utterly desperate.)

DO – What you do (Your action or inaction.)

Believe me walking around hesitant, shy and desperate is not good news when you are trying to get a date. My insecurity showed up in awkward conversations and personal compromises. 

It lead me to avoid talking to men I was attracted to and if I did talk to them I was not myself. I was uncomfortable and I was trying too hard.  

It lead me to enter into long-term committed relationships with men simply because they would have me even when I knew we were clearly not a match.

GET – What you get (your results)

What I got was a perpetual cycle of difficult and often disappointing long- term relationships that ended in the inevitable breakups. I fell into one 6-month relationship after the next, never getting any closer to finding someone with whom I could spend my life.

Without this insight, this clarity of how my thoughts and my personal view of myself was shaping my life I might have been left thinking that “there are no good men” or “all the good ones are taken” or the, oh so dramatic “Why is life so UNFAIR?”

Thank goodness for me, I was exposed to these concepts so that I could actually understand that it wasn't all the men that were the problem.

Nope, the blame for my sad dating situation sat squarely on my own shoulders and it had nothing to do with the afore mentioned “geeky-ness”. 

Clearly, I was hiding out, playing small, being less than. 

I was not honoring my own value and I was walking around like the insecure 13- year-old I had once been and not the competent, strong woman I had become.

I was putting myself in unfortunate situations with men I had no business being with.  Not fair to them, not fair to me and it was not going to cut it anymore.

The good news is that once I uncovered the source of my smallness and my disempowerment I realized that a slight attitude adjustment might just get me on the track to love and happiness.

Next week I will share how I turned things around and how you can too, but in the meantime, you can use the SEE BE DO GET model to reveal what thoughts might be holding you back.  Knowledge is power so get to it!

The Invitation:

Take a Look at your goals and dreams, your relationships and your life in general.  Notice your current thought patterns, your beliefs and your perspectives (SEE) and particularly notice any thoughts that might be in conflict or would stand in the way of what you want.

Referencing the SEE BE DO GET example above identify how those thoughts are making you feel (causing you to BE).

Notice what action you are taking and what you are avoiding, the conversations you are having and not having (DO). 

Notice the results you are getting (GET). Can you see how your results are in some ways tied to your thoughts and perspective? Is it time for a new point of view?

If you are not thrilled with where your current perspective is taking you, do not fear, we are only getting warmed up.

Thanks to a little SEE BE DO GET action, my love story has a happy ending.  By the end of it I was walking up to strangers and asking for dates at Starbucks – but I am getting ahead of myself.  Before I did anything so bold as make eye contact with an eligible bachelor, I first had to undergo a major mental make-over.

Next week I’ll share how I did it and how you can do it too.

See you next Week for part 2!

With Love,

Coach Joelle

 Hi guys!

For years I have been nurturing the vision of bringing you an over-the-top retreat experience that could literally change your life. 

Not only did I want to be able to give you access to all of the wonder, insights and tools that I have seen transform people’s lives through professional coaching, but I wanted it to be in a beautiful, nature-filled, relaxing and immersive setting where you could really let go and have the time and mental space to connect to yourself and your dreams and begin to make them real.

I am excited to announce that it’s happening this September 26 – October 2, 2010, when 10 special people will embark on a transformational tall ship sailing adventure to their Amazing Life!

Read all about it, and if your body sighs and your eyes sparkle as you imagine what you might create in your own amazing life, I suggest you meet us in Grenada for a vacation you will never forget!

See you on deck!

Coach Joelle

A Whole New Kind of "You Time"

The moment you place your bare feet on the teak wood deck, the stress of life melts away.

Finally, you have the time to rest, connect, reflect and create without interruption.

You have dreams that have been in hibernation waiting for their time to be made real.

Their time is now.

What would “AMAZING" look like for you?

 

Have you ever taken the time to ask yourself what your version of an “amazing life” would look like?

• Do you dream of a new career but don’t know where to get started

Are you looking for deep soulful love but somehow you keep experiencing
heartbreak?

Do you long for a change in location so you can finally start your dream life but feel too tied down to actually make the change?

Or maybe you just want to be happy, to live with greater freedom in life, greater peace and greater joy.

If you are ready to let go of what has been stopping you from claiming the life you've imagined, you want to be on this ship! Read More

Read More About The Amazing Life Cruise